PARK IT

When we retire, there is simply a good deal more time available to focus on dying. Retirement is like a valet to the topic and reality of Death. It shows Death where to park, and invites it to come into our lives. It may not roll out the welcome mat, but it does make a strong effort to create a spirit of acceptance.

Retirement must not be obsessed with death and dying, but to deny its spiritual presence just seems silly, and a bit reckless. The body alone is daily offering twinges and tightening and raw aches and pains which foreshadow  aging as a major player in the mix. The mind has trouble holding on to thoughts, ideas, and names – oh, how hard they can be to locate. The soul wanders more regularly about a Beyond it strains to believe in.

The valet of retirement will strive to make the task easier. The opportunity to stroll or wander or ponder. The chance to address the concerns of the soul, which so often begin with the facing of the finish. Retirement provides an atmosphere of calm which frees us to look inside the ghost town we imagine as our dying. It may create a cringe or two, but when at peace, at ease with Life as a whole, which includes death as the other half, we are better able to accept and embrace its truths.

I am sixty-five. Many tell me that is not that old. Well, had I taken better care of the temple, I might be able to agree. But…I did not. Big regret. However, I know that my remaining time is less than I planned or hoped. At least that is my gut intuition. Still, I may be wrong. I am not in charge of death any more than I was in control of life.

I am happy to have death at home in my life these days. The running away from the ending was exhausting, and often blurred the purpose of my being. I feel in focus these days. Content to savor the day as a gift, and to make a serious attempt to live in the now. I am actually living life as if there were no tomorrows. It feels, well, right. As it always should have been. As, thank God, it finally is.